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Copy Editing

I am an excellent copy editor who transforms not-so-polished writing into coherent, readable works. My professional editing experiences took place at the Opelousas Daily World in 2006-2007, where I served as a copy editor, page designer and food section editor. I also served as editor-in-chief of my college newspaper The Current Sauce, and I edited my students' work in The Raiders' Digest at Archbishop Rummel High School. In my current position at MasteryPrep, I am constantly cleaning up awkward writing submitted by part-time contract workers. I often take pride in how much better a piece of writing becomes after I get my hands on it.

Below are some examples of my editing work. Notice the differences between the "before" and "after" versions.

The Cleaned Up Cover Letter

A recent hobby of mine is helping my friends polish their resumes and cover letters in preparation for job applications. Below is an example of how I helped my friend improve her cover letter before submission. While my friend is a decent writer on her own, notice how I broke her large paragraphs into short, digestible chunks, clarified some confusing statements, strengthened her introductory and concluding paragraphs and applied a formal letter writing format. I completed this task in about 20 minutes during a lunch period at work.

Before

To whom it may concern,

Please consider this CV for the position of Curator Educator that is advertised on idealist.com. As a lifelong resident of Louisiana, I have a great appreciation for the rich heritage that our state celebrates. Throughout my career as a high school history teacher, I have transformed my passion for history and culture into rich meaningful curriculum. I am proud that many of my students have pursued history major/minors in college. Educators have a challenging task of keeping lessons interesting and relevant to an evolving student population. My involvement in educational technology gave me great experience in modernization lessons for today’s students. This outside of the box thinking led me to write online courses, create night classes, and establish school clubs, to promote social studies education. Today’s teacher is often overwhelmed by new curriculum and strategies. My experience as an Advanced Placement World History teacher has kept me on the cutting edge of curriculum and strategies with an emphasis on primary sources such as those available at the Historic New Orleans Collection. New Orleans is important to both American and World History. This year I asked my students to make their own scavenger hunt throughout the city looking for evidence of key people in history like Simon Bolivar, Joan of Arc, and Napoleon. Local teachers need to utilize this historic city as a living museum. As a teacher of the gifted, I am required to work with teachers from all subject areas to enrich and their lesson plans to support academically gifted learners. This experience will help me work with teachers of all grade levels and subject areas throughout the region. I would love to help classroom teachers use the vast resources of the New Orleans Historic Collection create rigorous and engaging classroom activities. Instead of passive learning the artifacts available at the NOHC allow learners of all ages and backgrounds to actively “do” history.

The New Orleans Historic Collection has a special interest to me. My commitment to the field of history goes beyond a job. It is my hobby. I spend my weekends touring the antique shops of Royal St. or visiting the neighborhoods of the city. Having strong roots in New Orleans, I grew up going to New Orleans public libraries helping my father trace our genealogy. I have collected centuries of stories from this city: my great Uncle George who walked in chest-high water from the Rigolets to the city after Hurricane Betsy, my great-great grandfather Narcisse Brunet, a Frenchman who made shoes on Rampart St when the French Quarter predominately populated by French people, and the DH Holmes clock on Canal St, where my grandmother was waiting for my grandfather after he returned from World War II, to accept his marriage proposal. These are examples of how I am part of the history of this community. I have given informational and personal tours of the city to many New Orleans visitors. My lifetime of learning and my practical experiences writing and teaching new curriculum, could transform the educational mission of the New Orleans Historic Collection. I look forward to learning more about this position.

Thank you,

Jane Doe, M.Ed.
AP World History Teacher, Somewhere High School

After

May 23, 2013

The Historic New Orleans Collection
533 Royal St.
New Orleans, LA 70130

Dear Sir or Madam:

Please consider this curriculum vitae for the position of Curator of Education as advertised on idealist.com. As a lifelong resident of Louisiana, I have a great appreciation for the rich heritage our state celebrates. Throughout my career as a high school history teacher, I have transformed my passion for history and culture into rich, meaningful curricula. I am proud that many of my students have pursued history majors and minors in college because of my influence.

Educators have a challenging task of keeping lessons interesting and relevant to an evolving student population, but I have always tackled this task with passion and enthusiasm. My involvement in educational technology gave me great experience in modernizing lessons for today’s students. This outside-of-the-box thinking led me to write online courses, create night classes, and establish school clubs to promote social studies education. Today’s teacher is often overwhelmed by new curriculum strategies, but my experience as an Advanced Placement World History teacher has kept me on the cutting edge of curriculum strategies with an emphasis on primary sources such as those available at the Historic New Orleans Collection.

New Orleans is important to both American and World History. This year I asked my students to make their own scavenger hunts throughout the city, looking for evidence of key people in history such as Simon Bolivar, Joan of Arc and Napoleon. I would love the opportunity to teach local teachers how to utilize this historic city as a living museum.

As a gifted and talented coordinator, I am required to work with teachers of all subject areas to enrich their lessons to support academically gifted learners. The Curator of Education job would be an extension of that goal – to work with teachers of all grade levels and subject areas throughout the region to challenge and engage their students. If chosen for this position, I would teach classroom teachers how to use the vast resources of the New Orleans Historic Collection to create rigorous and engaging activities. Instead of participating in passive learning, learners of all ages and backgrounds will be able to actively “do” history through interaction with the artifacts available at the NOHC.

The New Orleans Historic Collection is of special interest to me. My commitment in the field of history goes beyond a job – it is my hobby. I spend my weekends touring the antique shops of Royal St. and visiting the diverse neighborhoods of the city. Having strong roots in New Orleans, I grew up helping my father trace our genealogy through the New Orleans Public Libraries. I have collected centuries of stories from this city, such as my great Uncle George who walked in chest-high water from the Rigolets to the city after Hurricane Betsy, my great-great grandfather Narcisse Brunet, a Frenchman who made shoes on Rampart St. when the French Quarter was predominately populated by the French, and my grandmother, who stood at the D. H. Holmes Clock on Canal St., waiting to accept my grandfather’s marriage proposal after he returned from World War II. These are examples of how my ancestry is a part of the history of this community. Now, I am actively working to be part of its future.

My lifetime of learning and my practical experiences writing and teaching new curricula could transform the educational mission of the New Orleans Historic Collection. I look forward to learning more about this position.

Sincerely,

Jane Doe, M.Ed.
AP World History Teacher, Somewhere High School

MasteryPrep Example #1 - Jaws Passage

This passage about the movie Jaws was nearly published in its raw form, but luckily I was there to clean it up a bit.

Before

Soon after its release, Jaws quickly became one of the highest-grossing films in cinema history and held the top spot for several years. It is remembered for being one of the first “high concept” movie pitches—giving a simple premise that can be described quickly and marketed easily. The soundtrack and editing often put the movie in the discussion of one of the greatest films ever made. Being called “culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant,” Jaws was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the United States National Film Registry.

Sharks soon became an object of great fear because of the movie. After it was released, beach attendance plummeted drastically in 1975. It led people to believe that all sharks were coldhearted killers, although that’s not the case. Shark hunting rose drastically; it is said that many populations have dropped from 50 percent to up to 90 percent.

More people sought to understand sharks and their behaviors and it allowed for real and substantial conservation of them. Although it started out with some severe and negative impacts, people now have a firmer understanding of the ocean and its inhabitants. People are more interested in sharks than ever before, and shark related shows like Shark Week, Martha’s Vineyard Jaws Fest, and movie marathons show the interest is growing. It is often said that we have learned more about sharks in the last forty years than we have in the last one hundred.

Richard Dreyfuss, who played Hooper in the movie, said “we started the film without a script, without a cast, and without a shark.” The mechanical shark used in the film, named Bruce, barely worked. It went 5 million dollars over budget. Despite these setbacks, Jaws was a hit film and changed the way people think about sharks forever.

After

Jaws is the definition of a “blockbuster” movie; it changed how films were made. Soon after its release, Jaws became one of the highest-grossing films in cinema history, and it held the top spot for several years. It is remembered for being one of the first “high concept” movies—with a simple premise that could be described quickly and marketed easily. Having received numerous awards for music and editing, the film is often considered one of the greatest movies ever made. Called “culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant,” Jaws was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the United States National Film Registry.

The film is responsible for a growing fear of the ocean; it created the “Jaws Effect.” Sharks soon became an object of great fear because of the movie. After Jaws was released in 1975, beach attendance plummeted drastically. It led people to falsely believe that all sharks were cold-hearted killers. Shark hunting rose drastically causing many shark populations to drop by fifty to ninety percent.

Following initial fear created by the “Jaws Effect,” a conversation about how to properly treat and understand these animals began. More people sought to understand sharks and their behaviors, and it allowed for real and substantial conservation. Although the “Jaws Effect” initially caused severe and negative impacts, people now have a firmer understanding of the ocean and its inhabitants. People are more interested in sharks than ever before, and the popularity of shark-related television programming, such as the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week, and live events, such as Martha’s Vineyard JawsFest, indicate the interest is growing. It is often said that we have learned more about sharks in the last forty years than we had in the previous one hundred.

The movie itself overcame incredible odds to be successful. Richard Dreyfuss, who played Hooper in the movie, said, “We started the film without a script, without a cast, and without a shark.” Filmmakers used a mechanical shark they nicknamed Bruce, but it barely worked. The film went $5 million over budget. Despite these setbacks, Jaws was a hit film and changed the way people think about sharks forever.

MasteryPrep Example #2 - Charlemagne Passage

This passage was adapted from a public domain source to be used within the ACT Mastery Reading curriculum. The original public domain source was written with overly simplistic sentence structure. With my edits, I attempted to bump up the sentence complexity, so the passage could then become an ACT-worthy piece of writing.

Before

Pepin had two sons, Charles and Carloman. After the death of their father they ruled together, but in a few years Carloman died, and then Charles became sole king.

This Charles was the most famous of the kings of the Franks. He did so many great and wonderful things that he is called Charlemagne, which means Charles the Great.

He was a great soldier. For thirty years he carried on a war against the Saxons. Finally he conquered them, and their great chief, Wittekind, submitted to him. The Saxons were a people of Germany, who then lived near the land of the Franks. They spoke the same language and were of the same race as the Franks, but had not been civilized by contact with the Romans.

They were still pagans, just as the Franks had been before Clovis became a Christian. They actually offered human sacrifices.

After Charlemagne conquered them he made their lands part of his kingdom. A great number of them, among whom was Wittekind, then became Christians and were baptized; and soon they had churches and schools in many parts of their country.

Another of Charlemagne’s wars was against the Lombards. Pepin, as you have read, had defeated the Lombards and given to the Pope part of the country held by them. The Lombard king now invaded the Pope’s lands and threatened Rome itself; so the Pope sent to Charlemagne for help.

Charlemagne quickly marched across the Alps and attacked the Lombards. He drove them out of the Pope’s lands and took possession of their country.

After he had conquered the Lombards he carried on war, in 778, in Spain. A large portion of Spain was then held by the Moorish Saracens. But a Mohammedan leader from Damascus had invaded their country, and the Moors invited Charlemagne to help them. He therefore led an army across the Pyrenees. He succeeded in putting his Moorish friends in possession of their lands in Spain and then set out on his return to his own country.

On the march his army was divided into two parts. The main body was led by Charlemagne himself. The rear guard was command¬ed by a famous warrior named Roland. While marching through the narrow pass of Roncesvalles, among the Pyrenees, Roland’s division was attacked by a tribe called the Basques, who lived on the mountain slopes of the neighboring region. High cliffs walled in the pass on either side. From the tops of these cliffs the Basques hurled down rocks and trunks of trees upon the Franks, and crushed many of them to death. Besides this, the wild mountaineers descended into the pass and attacked them with weapons. Roland fought bravely; but at last he was over¬powered, and he and all his men were killed.

Roland had a friend and companion named Oliver, who was as brave as Roland. Many stories and songs have been written tell¬ing of the wonderful adventures they were said to have had and of their wonderful deeds in war.

The work of Charlemagne in Spain was quickly undone; for Abd-er-Rahman, the leader of the Mohammedans who had come from Damas¬cus, soon conquered almost all the territory south of the Pyrenees.

After

Pepin had two sons, Charles and Carloman. After their father’s death, they ruled together, but a few years later, Carloman died, and Charles became sole king.

Charles was the most famous king of the Franks. He did so many great and wonderful things that he was called Charlemagne, which means Charles the Great.

Charlemagne was a great soldier. For thirty years he waged war against the Saxons. Finally Charlemagne conquered the Saxons, and their great chief, Wittekind, submitted to him. The Saxons were a people of Germany, who lived near the land of the Franks. They spoke the same language and were of the same race as the Franks, but they had not been civilized by contact with the Romans.

They were still pagans, just as the Franks had been before a previous king, Clovis, became a Christian. As part of pagan ritual, the Saxons offered human sacrifices.

After Charlemagne conquered the Saxons, he made their lands part of his kingdom. A great number of them, including Wittekind, were baptised as Christians, and soon they had churches and schools in many parts of their country.

Another of Charlemagne’s wars was against the Lombards. Pepin, Charlemagne’s father, had defeated the Lombards and gave part of their country to the pope. The Lombard king then invaded the pope’s lands and threatened Rome itself; so the pope asked Charlemagne for help.

Charlemagne quickly marched across the Alps and attacked the Lombards. He drove them out of the pope’s lands and took possession of their country.

After Charlemagne’s victory over the Lombards, he waged war in Spain in 778. A large portion of Spain was then held by the Moorish Saracens, but a Mohammedan leader from Damascus was invading, and the Moors invited Charlemagne to help them. He therefore led an army across the Pyrenees. Leading an army across the Pyrenees Mountains, Charlemagne successfully defeated the enemy, restoring the land to his Moorish allies. Then he began the journey home.

Charlemagne’s returning army was divided into two parts. The main body was led by Charlemagne himself, and the rear guard was commanded by a famous warrior named Roland. While marching through the narrow Roncevaux Pass in the Pyrenees, Roland’s division was attacked by a tribe called the Basques, who lived on the mountain slopes of the neighboring region.

High cliffs walled in the pass on both sides. From the tops of these cliffs the Basques hurled rocks and trunks of trees down upon the Franks and crushed many of them to death. The wild mountaineers also descended into the pass and attacked the Franks with weapons. Roland fought bravely; nevertheless, he was overpowered, and he and all his men were killed.

Roland had a friend and companion named Oliver, who was as brave as Roland. Many stories and songs tell of their wonderful adventures and deeds in war.

The work of Charlemagne in Spain was quickly undone. Abd-er-Rahman, the leader of the Mohammedans, who had come from Damascus, soon conquered almost all the territory south of the Pyrenees.